What You Do To Me

'I'm sorry'
you used to tell me i say that a lot...

Yet, did you know how much i meant it?
because i'm still not over you.

Deep down I'm an idiot,
who fell for your trap.

It was the best thing that happened to me.
It is now my nightmare that reoccurs over and over again.

and i dont wanna hurt.
and i dont want to be harmful.

you make it impossible to love anymore...

how did you do this to me?
how did i let you?

**One of my top favorite songs "Where The Story Ends" by The Fray

Apologizes Fill My Spaces

We
Make amends
We
Become friends
You
Left first
I
Felt the worst
We
Took time
You
Spoke
I
Broke
I
Make a fine line.

Reality

It took time
letting myself believe
that you have moved on.
But i have known for quite awhile.
Just cant take believing it,
because when i want to,
(you know) move on,
all i can think of is you. And
i force myself to loneliness
because if i can't get you out of my mind
then i don't deserve
to allow another to come in yet.
How could I let you get to me like this,
how can i ever go back
to the way things were before?

Oh Dear, Oh Dear

It was supposed to be the big day...
The one when i realize
I don't want to run away,
I don't want to be scared away...
It was supposed to be special...
We were supposed to be happy
knowing it would be forever.
It was supposed to be...
you and me,
not behind nor ahead of each other,
but side by side...
But nothing was what it was supposed to be
It hurt,
I was left to fear myself.
It hurt,
picking myself up after a painful crash...
It hurt realizing
that I can't trust...
that I can't adjust...
that I can't let myself become content.
Not anymore.
Because I would only feed my soul fake hope for impossibility...
But maybe... that's just fine...
I don't want to need you anymore,
but i don't want to lie to myself either...

I'm just invisible is all...

I can't sleep,
its eating me inside out
slow, agnozing.
i have no feel,
no will,
no thoughts anymore.
I'm gone,
in a body that now,
can barely hold up that fakeness
called happiness.
Anything that would become absorbed,
now right through the heart
of an empty space.
I just want to sleep in peace...

To A Million Pieces

You've shattered me,
and i can't even cry properly
because no one is to hear me.
for a second feared doubt,
but maybe at that same second,
you did too...
but i pushed doubt away,
i guess it went towards you huh?
i'm sorry for this.
you need not to apologize for anything done wrong,
because everything you did was done
right,
humanly..
the days with you
slowly silenced,
slowly faded...
there wasn't anything done that could fix this..
you kept me safe and content
but now i feel confused and lost
scared, hurt...
i wish you happiness and no regret.
Don't worry,
you'll forget me soon.